You will encounter many scientific and pedagogical method stories in the “Mkhitar Sebastatsi” Educational Complex, which you may want to apply, but one thing should be emphasized – that the basis of an educator’s and pedagogue’s study is the observation of a free child. The educational complex is a family school-kindergarten of life, where from the age of 2, children are raised, and educated. “My child has very bad behavior, I punish them at home, you should punish them in the kindergarten too.” Being a teacher of 2-5 year olds, I have never uttered that word “punish”. Throughout my working years, I haven’t even had the thought of punishing a preschooler. I have no right to restrict preschoolers’ freedom or disrespect them. Punishment is not my method. Situations arise when you want to raise your voice or look sternly at a kindergartener’s bad deed, but I assure you – any educator should think that there are many children around, that maybe the misbehaving preschooler won’t be affected, but the well-behaved one will be more upset and won’t want to come to kindergarten the next day. The kindergarten is that pure environment where the educator is the kindergartener’s playmate, there is mutual trust and love both towards the child and the parent. Never judge 2-4 year olds harshly, we often say too: “It’s okay, they’re a child.” Kindergarten and family cooperation is a process aimed at organizing preschoolers’ upbringing. Do 2-4 year olds understand when they are being punished?
Parental Story:
My 2.5-year-old daughter – I lightly tapped her hand to make her behave better, she laughed, giggled, and I started laughing and playing with her too. They’re small, they don’t understand. I tried to discuss the topic of punishment with the Parents’ Club. One of the parents said: -It’s a family upbringing issue, I’m a strict parent. If my child hits me, I hit them back, let them know that it hurts me. It’s complicated, but what if that child attends kindergarten, won’t they hurt their friends? What should the teacher do, isn’t preschool education a continuation of family upbringing? I can confidently state that the bridge of healthy cooperation between parent-child-teacher must always remain strong. People ask me: “If a child behaves very badly or tries to harm themselves – what do you do? Don’t you get angry, don’t you punish them?” Based on my work experience observations, I divided the word punishment like this – “Convincing punishment” and “Non-convincing punishment”. Convincing punishment: I try to resolve every issue with children through agreement, persuasion, and conversation. I’ve also noticed that many parents treat their children calmly and gently. Convincing punishment: “My sunshine, I love you very much, shall we go make cookies together? I’ll buy whatever you want (offering the child’s desired food or toy). I’ll give you my phone to watch cartoons or play as much as you want. We’ll go to the park or wherever you want. If someone hits you, don’t let them, say ‘don’t hit.'” Non-convincing punishment: “It’s not allowed, I won’t buy anything for you, won’t take you to grandma’s house, I’ll give your toy to your friend since you don’t share yours, won’t read you a story, if someone hits you, hit them back.” Believe me, convincing punishment is more exemplary and effective. Now you’ll ask what’s the difference between convincing and non-convincing punishment? Punishment remains punishment. Let me remind you that we’re talking about preschoolers. In general, the word punishment is incomprehensible for 2-4 year olds. Parents’ narrative regarding the “Punishment” topic: Astghik Beglaryan, Sose Avagyan’s mother
Punishment is the shortest path… For Sose, the “ultimate punishment” is not reading a fairy tale or book before bed. But we rarely apply it. I think punishment is one of the shortest ways to ruin relationships with a child. Punishment is a show of force, and we will receive its response sooner or later. Of course, children’s behavior can often make us angry or be unpleasant, it can cause shame, but we try first and foremost to talk, talk, talk. Sose loves to learn, so often when I want her to display specific behavior, I tell her that I am teaching her how a smart child should behave. I am absolutely against physical punishment. It is a sign of weakness and carries very dangerous consequences. Children are light that needs to be cherished.
Marine Martirosyan, Ruzanna Khachatryan’s mother
To punish or to be an example? Children quickly grasp words, movements and imitate their friends’ behavior, educators’ vocabulary, and conduct. It’s pleasant when, for example, you’re doing their hair and they say that Ms. Mary ties it a bit higher and prettier, asking you to do it like her and kiss their head at the end. These seem like simple things, but this is what pedagogy means to me. When they want to say something and I hastily say “speak Ruz,” they reply “don’t say Ruz, say ‘I’m listening, dear Ruzan’ like Ms. Anna does.” Children absorb every word and behavioral expression like a sponge, and in this case, it’s important for education to be bilateral and interconnected. In pedagogy, I avoid and almost never use the word “punish,” instead explaining that they won’t be able to use this or that favorite toy or activity for some time. Through this, I want to focus their attention on their behavior, like when they hit their sister and their toys became sad. What do we do? I love my sister, I apologize on their behalf, justify that they didn’t mean to do it, it happened accidentally, and only then do they dare to hug their sister. Stubbornness slowly transforms into affection towards the sister, but it works. Praise helps a lot during times of resistance. Recently, they were very careless with toys, didn’t take care of new gifts, got bored quickly with particular toys, but wouldn’t share with their sister, keeping them or hurting and pushing their sister. The sister is little, and I was very worried about potential harm. I would hug and love the sister, explaining to them not to do such things again. Once I said they would be punished, and in response they asked: “Mom, what is punishment?” I felt both inner joy and sadness – first, because the word was truly unfamiliar to them both in pronunciation and behavioral manifestation, then I felt sad that I couldn’t restrain myself and used that word. I try to be very careful with words directed at them, they’re very emotional, especially needing more attention in interactions with their sister. Through my pedagogy, I become an example for them – through conversations, discussions, games – being patient. Children experience different emotions every day, interact with people of various ages, and are impressed by words, behavior, and phenomena. They imitate and embody different people, experience wonder and admiration, feel sad and happy, and along this path, the only thing that both parents and teachers can do is be participants in children’s age-appropriate natural state instead of using prohibition words with “don’ts”.
Naira Gabrielyan, mother of Lola Semirjyan
Mother’s Diary: Punishment
During my childhood, punishment or being punished meant receiving a stern look from Father or Mother, being deprived of playing outside, and listening to very long educational and advisory talks. As for me, as a mother of children of different ages and genders, I try to punish my children in my own way. I don’t like the word “punishment” because sometimes it carries a negative context, but in cases of child’s misbehavior or mischief, I apply adapted methods, understanding what is most effective for each child. In my son’s case, when I see that he gets lost in games or visual distractions, I limit his time. I allocate fifteen minutes for lessons, and after that 15 minutes for computer or online games. The goal is for him to be able to manage time correctly, recognizing the boundaries between importance and rest. And if his clothes are messily scattered, and he doesn’t want to pick them up or leaves them scattered, I simply take them and put them near the hallway. This is a sign for him that respect for each other at home is a rule, and keeping the house clean is an equal responsibility. In my daughter’s case, since she is only four years old, everything is more complicated. Although I have a great desire to negotiate, she is still often restless and doesn’t always understand what the warning or punishment, prohibition and limitations are for. Nevertheless, I try to know that her days shouldn’t consist only of desires. Sometimes the “punishment” is limiting small things – watching cartoons, candies, or cutting vegetables together with her, baking cookies. Such activities give her an opportunity to reassess the process. To say that I don’t get angry and don’t punish when necessary means to say nothing. According to psychology, one must punish a child correctly so as not to damage their mental world and not disrupt their age-appropriate normal development. Parents notice that their children are stubborn, and therefore they must punish them. Correct punishment, wrong punishment, and also separating unacceptable and correct types of punishment. I disagree when a parent or educator tells a child: -You are punished today. 2-4 year olds should always feel protected by their parent and educator. During upbringing, one must consider the child’s psychological characteristics. The child has their own self, from an early age self-management is of great importance in the upbringing process, and from an early age we involve them in social activities and social interaction. Let’s love children very much, they are raised by imitating adults. Before punishing a child, let’s punish ourselves.